Things fall apart

I didn’t make the title of this post up myself. I borrowed it from a clever man who borrowed it from another clever man – it just seemed right for today.

Yesterday didn’t go according to plan. That is what you call an understatement by the way. The plan for today had to change owing to yesterday not going to plan, but that’s okay.

The plan for today ended up being the plan that WeeGee is best of all at following – the plan you have to stick to in order to put it all back together again. Again. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to put it all back together again (again), but that’s also okay.

Today I took care of myself. I’m forever telling other people to ‘take care’ and I know I need to learn to take a little bit of my own advice. It was a quiet, contemplative day in WeeGee land. I fed myself and relaxed and I got my apologies in. When I was ready I did the routine de-brief with Mr Wise.

Mr Wise gets it. He always gets it even when I can’t explain it very well at all. I still don’t really understand why I called the crisis team and not him last night. Self sabotage I suppose. Next time things fall apart I have to remember to call Mr Wise because only he can look into my head and say ‘yeah, I see it, but it doesn’t matter because it’s going to be okay’

I’m about to have a birthday. It’s the second birthday I’ve had since the worst thing ever happened, which also means that it’s almost the two year anniversary of the worst thing ever. Anniversaries matter to me. An elephant never forgets.

Anyway – I’m rambling because I’m tired and a little bit mental (but not in a scary way). All I really wanted to say is that I have come to the conclusion that every once in a while things will probably fall apart for me. And that’s okay.

I will probably never get to a point in my life where I say – ‘that’s it; I’m never going to fall apart again’, but what I can do is learn lessons when I do fall apart so that eventually I will find a soft enough place to fall.

Lots of love from WeeGee xx

 

 

 

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13 comments

  1. Finding a soft landing is great. But also, being able to pick yourself up quicker each time is also progress. Being able to have faith in your ability to pick yourself up and use all your resources to do so. That takes courage and guts. So good to see a post from you that shouts strength and determination. After the weekend you’ve had, I think you most definitely need to keep those taking care skills up. Perhaps you’ll give yourself a hug from me to you? xx

  2. Dear WeeGee, I am overjoyed that you have come out the other side of this. Which isn’t to say things are all easy now- since I’m sure they’re not- but you have come through it, and that is huge. It puts a big smile on my face. Keep writing and sharing, especially as the anniversary of the worst thing ever draws closer. I don’t know what the worst thing ever is, but know you have people on here who care about you and who want to support you no matter what. I know you like hugs and Nutella, so here are some hugs – ***hugs*** – and here is some nutella – **YUM**. (Do you like it on toast?) Take care dear WeeGee.

    Oh and my birthday is coming up soon too! 😀 We are fellow Leos then, huh?

    1. Nutella on toast is one of my favourites – or favorites 😉

      I’m a leo too. Don’t two leos usually fight? Promise not to fight with you 🙂

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