An attack of ‘the normals’

I’m still not feeling particularly mental*, in fact I think what I might be experiencing an attack of ‘the normals’ Since I can’t write about being mental I thought I’d do one of those meandering ‘ what WeeGee thinks’ posts instead. I’m scared you will all forget about me if I don’t blog; if you all forgot about me I would almost certainly have one of my mental turns…..

The first thing I have to do today is give a mahoosive thank you type shout out to our very own Depressed Moose. If you want to know what I have to thank him for visit this post and listen to the lovely music. I thought Nik Kershaw was pretty cool when I was a wee thing – he stole my heart and I think he still has a little bit of it to this day. My small(ish) obsession with Mr Kershaw is well known amongst my friends and family and one year I received not one, not two, but THREE copies of his greatest hits album as Christmas gifts. And I kept all three.

I was late for work today. Me being late isn’t really news because I am not what you describe as a punctual person** but being late for work when you don’t actually start until TWO IN THE AFTERNOON and only live TEN MINUTES AWAY is a tad embarrassing. I was late because I left myself too much time to get ready so had time to engage in a spot of clothes related faffing. I wanted to wear a very particular black dress. I could find at least three squillion other (largely the same) black dresses but none of them would do. In the end I gave up and decided to wear a navy blue one instead and there then commenced a period of shoe related faffing***

My emails were a bit of a giggle today. First there was the one asking me to send a copy of something to A**** Hobbs and B**** Nobbs…. Oh how I laughed. Then there was this one which had an intriguing title:

Hello! Are you female?

Hello, Are You A Female, are you still single and searching, My name is BLANK male, and I am now 40 years..separated three years ago, have 2 kids from previous marriage, I am a Christian. To me age doesn’t count. I am only looking for a true love and life partner anywhere in the world… I am an African. What I love most is the word TRUTH.I speak English and my local language. I do car hire service work in a small Hotel in the city of lagos. I am Ready and willing to relocate any time and to be utilised with my love. This is only a sincere relationship request from me. Thank you.

Ready to relocate to be utilised with his love? Takes all sorts I guess.

Sadly there were no typos today. Did I mention how much I enjoy a good typo? I enjoy them so much I collect them. Here are a few of my favourites:

Blank is unable to attend due to a curse

Dear Sir/Madman****

I look forward to meeting you tomato

And now for my absolute favourite of all which I must confess was my own:

Dear Angus.

That one isn’t funny unless you know I missed out the ‘G’. And I sent it before I realised. Mortified didn’t come close to covering it…..

Meanwhile in other news I have just realised that I left my phone at work ON THE ONLY WEEKEND OF THE ENTIRE YEAR that I can’t get in to retrieve it. Oh bums and stuff. Nothing else to report today save that I am off to listen to Nik Kershaw for a bit

Lots and lots of love, WeeGee (I won’t let the sun go down on me)*****

PS – Please feel free to send me your amusing typos to add to my collection.

*I know! This must be some kind of record or something

**I inherited this particular trait from my mother who is also always late for everything. I have very vivid memories of being marched to school at break neck speed whilst trying to follow the completely baffling instruction “Take your time and hurry up”

***I’m sorry – I know that was a boring story I blame it on the current attack of ‘the normals’

****When I received this I thought….. ‘fair enough’

***** That’s a bit of an ‘in’ joke. It’s not very funny but I couldn’t help it.

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17 comments

  1. How about ‘kind retards’ instead of ‘kind regards’….. !! Not me personally who did that one. Or “please shit down your computer” instead of “please shut down your computer”…… my friend who has an office job gets loads of typos :p glad you’re still feeling okay munchkin xxx

      1. I’ve done “kind retards” too, while working at a law firm :s
        I loved this whole post. I am a clothing faffer (?) myself, and it gives me panic attacks. So now I have to leave the house (or any room with a mirror) the moment I am acceptably attired to leave the house. Change clothes once and it’s all over…

      1. ha ha just checking! anyhoo i was in the midst of a big argument with a credit card company via email and told them “you can stick your account up your arse” except i missed out the c and o from account, accidently i swear and proceeded to send the email with the link “stick your a c**t up your arse” needless to say I never heard from them again lol

  2. Attack of the normals! I love it!

    I’m having one too. That’s why I’m scalping posts from my old blog and starting a bunch of blog projects. Snoozefest, huh?

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