Dear Conservatives (and especially Jeremy Hunt),
I am writing to respectfully request that you disappear off the face of the earth leaving some right minded people in charge instead. Further to this, I would be grateful if you could take Nick Clegg, Melanie Phillips and that awful Hitchens chap with you.
In the event that you are unwilling to comply with my request to disappear off the face of the earth I would like to apply to have my flat declared an independent state. Here in WeeGee Land I will be able to live out my days in peace and quiet free from your hateful policies and general vileness. I will of course continue to pay my taxes at the required level for the good of society, although I understand that this is more than can be said for the majority of you and yours.
Thank you in advance for your help with this matter. I look forward to you disappearing in due course.
WeeGee, Right Honourable President of WeeGee Land.