I’ve been feeling a bit ‘world shut your mouth’ for the past couple of days which would be a total pain in the arse if only I could bring myself to care. I hate feeling like this but I’m consoling myself with the fact that I only feel like this for a couple of days at a time now which is infinitely better than it being the perpetual state of affairs for months and months at a time. What a bleak way of looking on the bright side.
When I got up this morning I decided it was high time that WeeGee had herself a bit of a hide because when you’re feeling a bit ‘world shut your mouth’ and your brain is full of thoughts and feelings that you can’t figure out a bit of a hide is the only thing for it.
Sometimes you have to stop the world so you can find a way to make sense of your place in it……
As to whether I feel any better at the end of my hide? Who knows. I’m still a little tired of the world, but maybe not as tired as I was to start with. Perhaps that’s just the way it goes, and I simply have to get used to being tired of the world and the people in it every once in a while. It’s a shame because I much prefer it when everything is AWESOME.
I suppose I managed to remember one or two things – like how worrying is pointless, and how I can only ever be the person I am, and how I can’t stop the thoughts but I can choose what to do with them. Spot the lifetime in counselling. I wonder if that’s the problem? Maybe I’m tired of the fact that my tendency to being mental always has to shape the way I live my life.
I know that things are getting under my skin at the moment and that I ought not to let them but it really doesn’t work like that. Maybe I am a bit ‘clucky’ but it’s not the sort of thing your best friend ought to point out to you, all things considered. Maybe I would be a ‘high flier’ at work if I didn’t have the problems I do – but where does knowing that get me? Maybe wearing my heart on my sleeve is going to leave me hurting – but it’s always lived there and I don’t know where else to put it.
Today I think I’d like it if running away was an option. I’d happily board a spaceship and cross my fingers that I ended up landing amongst my kin. I’ve been wondering if there’s such a thing – WeeGee’s kin that is – because it occurs that I’m really lonely even though my life is filled full of people.
Meanwhile in other news there is nothing else to report save that I love you all lots like jelly tots. Oh. And I’ll be back tomorrow being even more AWESOME than before.